i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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