Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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