He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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