Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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