the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
