Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
