Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize