I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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