Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
