I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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