My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
