dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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