even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
