she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This show inspires me to have sex in space
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
