The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
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Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
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Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize