exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
