That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
