smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
