She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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