none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
