Will you blow on my dice?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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