i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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