He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
