Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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