Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
