office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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