WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
