trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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