wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
