guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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