I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
