hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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