I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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