You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
