You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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