Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
