I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
