Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
