4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
