Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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