fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have fence marks all over my body
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
