Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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