i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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