Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
