Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
