i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
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I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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