Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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