how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
