Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
