I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
did i walk over a car last night?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
