the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
