): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
