i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
