i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
