How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize