Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
