I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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