I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
