dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
