i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
