OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
