I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My pussy is not your playground.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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