Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize